Preppy Girl's Guide

Have you ever had to remove stitches from the chin of a four year old? I'm starting to realize why doctors make so much money. Then again, my son's doctor didn't earn much last Friday as HE couldn't get the stictches out (my son wouldn't cooperate). So, he sent home the "stitch removal kit" (literally, a set of plastic tweezers, manicure scissors and some rubber gloves - kinky). We thought of calling my nurse friend over to help but decided - we could surely do this - how hard can it be?

I had a grand plan (by my own definition, of course). I took some thread and applied "stitches" to his favorite stuffed animal's chin so he could take them out himself. He kinda liked that so things were going smoothly. How-evah... the minute we asked him to lie down, the trauma began. Galoot was forced to hold down his arms and legs, while I held back his chin AND pulled up the stitch with one hand, then cut with the other hand. It no doubt resembled a Twister game gone horribly wrong. Why do kids choose the most horrible thing to scream when you're already feeling guilty as all hell? - "I can't breathe mommy! - I...CAN'T...BREATHE!" - over and over. It probably took a whole 60 seconds (but seemed liked 60 hours). Once we were done, he immediately popped up as though nothing had happened and went on his merry way. We were clearly more traumatized than he was. Damn resilient kids.