Preppy Girl's Guide

I was just thinking that there was a time in my life when I started to develop "standards" if you will. I am thinking I was around 25, and living the "single career girl" life. I was making decent money and decided I'd better start acting like it. I'm not talking about standards like, "Don't date cracksmokers" (believe it or not, I unknowingly did for a while, ugh) - I'm talking about moving on to the finer things in life and never looking back. As I recall, a few things on my list were:

No more cheap shoes - from now on, all nice leather (and designer if possible)

No wine with screw tops - I realize even cheap wine can have a cork, but screw top usually = massive headache the next day not to mention bad taste.

No more "ugly hands & feet" - acrylics every two weeks and pedicures every two months

No cheap purses - COACH all the way baby.

No perfume knock-offs - the real thing always smells better.


So... about 4 years ago my husband and I uprooted from South Florida and landed here in Western NYS (my hometown). It is incredibly less metropolitan than what we had grown used to. Along with this change in latitude came a huge drop in cost of living - which was great in some ways but hard in others. ie: Less expensive to live, but no money to be made. So...here I sit, in a pair of sandals from payless, a $12 TJ Maxx purse at my feet (which incidentally haven't received a real pedicure in over a year). I often stare at the empty perfume bottle in my vanity that once held my favorite Giorgio perfume that I can not only no longer afford, but can no longer find! As I look at my unmanicured hands I can still smile a little - at least DIAMONDS are forever.

I know mom - these are my happy years, these are my happy years...

Wow, I just realized I've been in la-la land for about a week now. Overworked and overwhelmed is a good way to describe my life this past week. I am in the last week of the summer season at work and my hubby's been off in Scotland for 7 days. Oh how fun to be a single mom if only for a week. I am being sarcastic of course. I actually didn't mind it too much. I came up with a routine and stuck to it. Here's a few tips for handling the kids alone:

1. Mac & Cheese with hotdogs is the easiest kid-friendly dinner out there (okay, I already knew that).

2. Pick your battles - if the kid wants a raw hotdog, let him have it.

3. Accept any and all invitations to visit relatives during this time!

4. Don't be afraid to call a babysitter.. I didn't out of guilt, but I coulda used the break.

5. Shower as soon as the kids fall asleep at night - don't wait too long or you'll be too tired to do anything too! You could of course get up before dawn... but who are we kidding?

6. Don't agree to have your 3 yr. old niece over for a slumber party 4 days into being alone with the kids. She was fine but didn't sleep too well, and thus, neither did I.

7. Shop, shop, shop... keeps the kids busy even if you buy nothing. They love that toy section!

All in all it was super. When I was with the kids I pretty much surrendered all thoughts of getting anything else done, which was great. We had a fun week together which made missing daddy a little easier.

In honor of my writer's block I thought I'd share with you the following infomation about myself (I stole the idea from princess diaree's blog.)

1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (Name of first pet / Street you live on):
Daisy Ohio

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather's first name):
Popcorn James

3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant):
Tickets Southport

4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot):
Cinammon Ireland

5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied):
Sunshine Magnolia

6. "FLY GIRL/BOY" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name):
A. Bar

7. ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen):
Cake Apple Juice

8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School):
Puppy Jamestown

9. BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink):
Corn Chip Beer

10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived):
Lee Colfax

11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician):
Swedish Fish Guaraldi

12. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: ( First 2 letters of your first name and the first 3 Letters from your last name makes your first name. Take the first 2 letters of your mother's maiden name and the first 3 letters of the city you were born in):
Albar Lejam

Hmm... next time I'm out at a bar that "Corn Chip Beer" might come in handy.

So I spent my day tending to my grandma's yard sale. Grandma has kinda "lost it" at this point so the conversations were interesting. One went something like this.

Grandma: "That's a nice fan over there. Is it yours?"

Me: "Grandma, it's your fan. You just brought it out because of the heat."

Grandma: "Oh, well I don't want to sell it! I'm going to take it back in."

Me: "We're not going to sell it, it's to help us stay cool."

(5 minutes later Grandma returns with the box for the fan)

Grandma: "I brought this out so I can put the fan away."

Me: "Are you sure Grandma? It'll be much hotter without it."

Grandma: "Well I don't want to sell the fan."

Me: "I WON'T SELL THE FAN. See, there's no price on it."

Grandma: "Well there's a price right here on the box!"

Me: "Grandma, that's the price tag from when you
bought it in the store."

Grandma: "Don't tell me there's no price on it! It's right here."

Me: "Fine Grandma, put the fan in the box and take it in the house."

Grandma: "But won't we be hot without it?"

Poor thing. She ended up leaving the fan but continued to remind me that she didn't want to sell it. I sat back and smiled, feeling lucky that she at least still remembers who I am - her only granddaughter and one of her biggest "fans."

Okay then, I just wanna say that I owe it all to princess diaree. I had a yard sale today and made more than $400.00! Whoa. Now I can go to Vegas (as was planned by a group of us). Hee haw and best of luck!

Thanks for tagging me princess diaree. I am ready for my interview:

1. Do you think you have habits that annoy other people? If so, what are they?

Yes, definitely. I tend to answer my own questions before waiting for a response. For example:

Me: "Are you going to help me give the kids a bath? - or are you
gonna keep playing that video game?"

Me: "Are you ever going to pick up after yourself? - yes or no?"

I also like to correct peoples' spelling and grammar - which is not to say I don't make my share of mistakes - it's just a habit. Feel free to correct me anytime, I'm sure I deserve it. BTW... the term is "recurring" not reoccurring. DOH!

2. What is the most embarrassing "fad" you've fallen prey to?

Oh geez, I would have to say "Sun-in." Do you remember that stuff from the 80's? You'd spray it on in the "sun" and let it lighten your hair. It worked okay if you had blonde hair but my natural color is dark brown. I sat in the bathroom one night with a bottle and my hair dryer (activated by heat, not necessarily the sun). I ended up with a half orange head of hair. Not attractive .. but I thought I looked pretty cool at the time. I also took up "Val Speak" during the Valley Girl craze in the 80's. Gag me, like I'm so sure! Uggh.

3. Do you or have you ever had a reoccurring dream? If so, what do you think it means?

I sometimes have that dream where I'm trying to run uphill and can't move at all. I usually have it when I'm stressing about something.

4. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one ability (not supernatural), what would it be?

The first thing that comes to mind is a Ballet Dancer - because not only do I think it's a beautiful art form but I assume I'd get the awesome dancer body to go with it!

5. Are you happy with your name? Did you get teased about your name as a child? If you could have chosen your own name, what would you be called?

Well, I love my first name. I always have. But my nickname is "Ali" so I've heard every Ali/Alley joke in the book.

"Hey Ali-cat!"
"Ali, Ali Oxen Free!"
"Ali Baba!"
"Look... it's Bowling Ali!"
"Hey 'Kate & Ali'" (I subsequently named my daughter Kate)
"How they hangin' Ali McGraw, Ali McBeal, Ali Oop?"

Probably what's most annoying is the fact that when people tell me these jokes they assume they are the first person to ever think of it. Ya buddy, brilliant. Also, my maiden name is PETERS... you can imagine the jokes I got about that one too.

To pick my own name? Again, I like my name but if I had to change it... I think I'd pick something Irish like... Erin, Shannon, Megan, Molly, or Aylish.

Wow is that it? Not too bad. How'd I do?

My dreams have come true. My husband is going out of town to his class reunion for 4 whole days... and he's taking the kids!

Here is a list of things I will do this weekend:

1. CLEAN MY HOUSE - might sound odd to a guy... but you girls know
2. GO OUT DRINKING - I think I deserve to kick back a few
3. DYE THE ROOTS - runway showing again (yes, so soon)
4. SLEEP IN - will most likely follow the drinking
5. TAKE AN UNINTERRUPTED, LENGTHY, HOT SHOWER OR BATH - I can't even remember the last time I did this!

Pretty boring eh - yet somehow, I can't wait. Anybody wanna come?

Damn... I sound so sad. I just needed to vent. I don't mean to make my husband sound like a jerk... he SO isn't. He helps out a lot around the house compared to most guys. I think I'm just pissed because he's been playing "Dark Forces" on the computer non-stop for like 5 days in a row.

This too shall pass.

Okay. I feel like throwing myself a pity party so here goes:

It is my 5th wedding anniversary and here I sit, home alone (well, with my sleeping children). No dinner out, no babysitter, no romantic evening. I realize most of this is just because we simply couldn't find someone to watch the kids - otherwise I'd be out right now. But that doesn't make me feel much better.

I spent the day at work and came home to a disaster area. My husband has been on summer break and decided to save some day care money by keeping our son home for two weeks. Big mistake. I am honestly thinking at this point it would have been worth the expense to not come home to the mess every day this week. I can only imagine (and fret about) what next week will hold.

So, any woman with children can imagine what it's like to come home to a husband who's been with an almost 2 yr. old all day (the blind leading the blind?). As soon as I hit the door the hand off is made with no relief until the kid falls asleep. It's as if his day at home with my son (which probably included a nice 3 hour nap) is more hectic than mine was at work. For example, I have been trying to get my husband to make an appointment to take my van in for service all week. He claims that our son is just "too much of a handful" for him to make a phone call. Funny how he can go out to breakfast, call his friends and play video games yet can't make one simple phone call all day (and don't get me started on the dirty dishes in the sink).

I suppose this sounds perfectly normal to any woman/mother. I was just at a point tonight where I actually cried. All I wanted was to sit down in peace and not have to worry about the mess in the kitchen, the laundry in the basement or the kids hanging off my feet. I know guys just don't get it... I just keep hoping that someday...

Please don't get me wrong, I love him all the same (the flowers and new bracelet helped immensely) - and the only reason I am alone is because he had a late night performance (improv)... but still, it's not how I imagined I'd spend this night. Maybe I'll pop in our wedding video... that's always good for a laugh!

My son is about 21 months old and I think he's hit the terrible two's a little early. Lately, he has become uncontrollable. And it's so hard to yell... look at that face! But last night, in the space of about 30 minutes, he did the following:

1. Tried to unlock the door with a pair of scissors.
2. Emptied all the knives and wooden spoons from the dishwasher.
3. Climbed up the staircase on the outside of the banister.
4. Dumped a cup of Cheetos on the floor.
5. Broke into the fireplace (which is wired shut) & played with the ashes.
6. Opened the oven & sat on the door while he played with the racks.
7. Wrote on himself with a Sharpie.
8. Wrote on himself with a dry erase (came off a little more easily).
9. Plunged the toilet (which his sister had just used - yuck).
10. Seasoned our laptop with salt & pepper, A LOT of salt & pepper.

I can't keep up. If you don't have kids you are probably asking yourself, "does she even watch the kid?" Yes, of course I do. The problem is, while I am cleaning up one mess, he is creating another. An endless cycle - that is until he falls asleep, and by then, I'm out like a light too.

Phew.

I recently came across another little piece of technology I'm not sure how I ever lived without. It's the best thing to come along since Tivo and I'm never giving it up - it's Satellite radio. If you have the means, you must get it, YOU MUST.

I'll admit that I live in a somewhat remote area, with very few choices on my local dial. I drive about 25 minutes to work (after I drop off the kids) and I don't have a huge collection of CD's. We have a great NPR station, but I can only listen to so much talk. I'm a closeted singing "superstar" and I need my love songs, nothing but love songs! My five main pre-sets are Broadway, followed by "Star-lite," the 70's, 80's and 90's channels and "Sirius Love." (I can hear you all laughing...) Another favorite is "1st Wave" dedicated to 80's new wave tunes. Truly awesome.

There's even "Kidstuff" for the little ones which is fairly tolerable except for the occasional "Barney" tune. Can I just say that I'm sick of Barney changing the words to classic children's songs so we can hear all about his big purple kid loving ass? Sorry,I digress. Even with the Barney tunes, it's worth it.

Check it out. You won't be disappointed. There's something for everyone here.