Preppy Girl's Guide

Fried turkey is AWESOME. If you have never tried this before, be sure to buy a little deep fryer for next year and give it a go. My brother brought his over for us to use and it was great.

Why is fried spelled with an "i" yet fryer is spelled with a "y"?

On a separate note, I was just reading Sherri's entry about being on a budget and I have to concur wholeheartedly. I am stressing out about having to buy Christmas gifts that I can't afford. I know, I know - I could creatively come up with an alternative - but there are still people who I'd really LIKE to buy a present. Even just something small, and I can't. Money sucks ass. Time to start selling my crap on ebay I guess (as if I had the time).

Ho hum, poor me. I'm rich with family but poor in cashola. I can deal with that I guess.

I feel better lately. I think the chiropractor is helping. But... now I have this thing that everyone refers to as "the crud." Heard of it?

"The crud" is this nasty cold-like ailment that has provided me the pleasure of hacking up a lung every morning for the last three weeks. Along with my lung I cough up a load of "crud," thus the name. Is there a miracle cure for "the crud?" I hope so, because at this point my children have caught it too. Somehow my husband has escaped infection (shows how much he's really home I guess!) Lucky bastard.

Any help with my crud is appreciated. I also need a good dessert recipe for Thanksgiving - any ideas? (no crud jokes please).

BYE

I totally stole this from the Dilbert newsletter, but it was so good, I thought I'd share:

TRUE TALES OF INDUHVIDUALS

Normally I would include in this section (of the newsletter) all of the tales of Induhviduals reported by vigilant DNRC operatives in the field. Today I have only one, because after this one, nothing else will seem Induhvidually enough:

--

One of my co-workers (who is originally from Arkansas, just FYI) told me one day that he knew for a fact that sex feels better for women than it does for men. I asked, "How do you figure that?" His reply was (and I am not making this up!), "Because when you put your finger in your ear and wiggle it around, it feels better to your ear than it does to your finger."

You gotta love Scott Adams.

She is so gorgeous - what is with her kid's hairdo? I've checked out several different photos from different angles and it is definitely a mohawk. What gives?

So anyone who knows me, knows I have been feeling like crap for about two or three months. It is a total shock to me because I've always felt kinda "invincible" and very healthy - and whatever is going on with me is scaring the crap out of me. I honestly feel like I have a horrible disease because I guess I keep thinking, "what wouldn't resolve itself in a few days, or a few weeks?" I'm gonna list the symptoms in hopes that someone will read this and magically have an answer for me:

Wake up lightheaded with stiff neck and achy back.
Feel short of breath a couple of times a day.
Feel nauseous intermittently throughout the day.
Feel like my head is heavy and hard to lift.
Have a HUGE and hard knot in my right neck muscle.
Have a cyst or node under my right ear at the jaw joint.
Have recently been diagnosed with borderline diabetes (another shock).
An internal tremor in left shoulder and arm (this SUCKS).
Back pain, left hip pain, left knee pain.
An overall feeling of exhaustion - like I'm hungover 24-7.
Losing weight.

I have an occasional "good" day, where I feel semi-normal - but then it's back to feeling sucky. Tests have all come back fine. No heart trouble, no gastric trouble, no bloodwork abnormalities, and clean bill of health from my OB/GYN. I have had two REALLY bad colds in the past two months too. I cough so hard I feel like I'm going to throw up - but I'm not sure this is related to anything at all. I don't know what to think or where to go with this. The worst part is... I feel like no one believes me. I feel like everyone thinks I am nuts. The thing is, I HATE being sick, and I would certainly not feign it for any reason. I'll admit I've been stressed, but don't see how that would make me this ill. In any case, I did not write for your sympathy, I'm simply hoping someone will read this and maybe have some ideas. This sucks ass.

On a lighter note, "The Office" was awesome last night. Anyone see it?

Here's a few pics from Halloween at my place!

So my daughter started "Tap" lessons about 6 weeks ago. I ususally take her on Saturday mornings and sit in a waiting room with a bunch of other mothers for about 30 minutes while the girls dance. The class is mostly 4 year olds with a few younger girls mixed in. I only know one of the other mothers and usually find myself talking to her most of the time.

This past week, the lady I usually talk to was very late, so I was left to fend for myself for most of the class. No big deal, I figured I'd try to talk to someone about "mom" stuff or comiserate about lazy husbands or something. But as I sat there I suddenly felt like I was on another planet. Maybe I never noticed before because I was preoccupied, but I found myself in a sea of people to which I could NOT relate. Here is what I observed:

A mom in a Dale Earnhardt jacket.
Lots of permed hair and the smell of styling gel.
Talk of "tupperware parties and partylite candles."
A mom in a Jeff Gordon jacket (with car decals and a license plate to match)
Little girls dressed like teenagers (I HATE this)
4 year olds with BIG foofy hair pieces (to increase ponytail "volume" I assume.)

Okay. I SO don't want to sound snobby. It's not an economic thing. These people probably make more money than I do. But... it's the way they spend it I guess. My point is, if I made more money, I'd send my daughter to the local youth ballet company instead of this cheaper alternative. I wouldn't spend less on her dance lessons so I could afford to dress her like a "BRATZ" doll. Tupperware and Partylite are great - but I only have the time and money to hit Target for household needs. This waiting room is a social hotbed for these moms. Maybe what they lack in culture they make up for in Nascar knowledge??? But hey - they're definitley entitled - let's remember I was the sore thumb in this group.

Next year, youth ballet or bust - I'll start saving my pennies now. You can tell "the arts" puts food on my table - eh?

Speaking of Nascar, check out your trailer park name here:
Trailer Trash Doll
I'm Jolene Bumsuck!